heyo daddio-

i made a promise to myself that i would stop bringing up G right around my 23rd birthday. that i would be completely healed from him and his toxic jersey waste.

it is december 1st 2018.

it is my birth month.

dad, i am a sweet summer child for thinking i would be over it so soon.

after an amazing day and night yesterday, i realize that the men i find myself attracting currently, ones that fill me with pure ecstasy and empower me, are ones that i DESERVE.  i am worthy.

there has been not a time in my life that i have not deserved that. even when i have been at my lowest, most depressed. even when i have felt unworthy and disgusting. my worth is non-negotiable. my worth is inherent to my existence. i am worthy.

acceptance is the hardest part of this. i KNOW all of this, but it is finally living it. BELIEVING it deep in my core. comforted by it in times of crisis. living my peace and my purpose with it by my side. drawing from it in all my interactions and relationships. seeking it out. empowering myself from it. i am worthy.

who is your only daughter, jack douglas?

i am mighty. i am strong. i am sharp.

i love, dad. i love so hard. i provide for them and their needs.  i FEEL them. i KNOW them. i am able to seek and give them energy in our interactions before they tell me their names.

i am wholesome. i am lauded. i am important.

i am the person who will remember the story you told me about the first time you got your heart broken. i will cry with you, probably as hard as you did the first time. i will vividly live through you when you tell me your passions. i exist in your world, living with you. i am someone who will find your favorite candy on markdown and buy you all of it. you told me that was your favorite candy in passing three months ago, but i remember.

i am unique. i am delightful. i am invigorating.

i am chaotic good. i will always make space for anyone; there is room for everyone at this table. i am a lighthouse- light to lead you home and the warmth to keep you there.

i am the apple of your eye, jack douglas.

xoxo,

your daughter