aloha pops.

the beginning of this chapter is august 2014.

i was fresh out of high school. i was a burning hot passion. i was going to move mountains and change the world. i kicked off this momentum by jamming full two suitcases and a carry-on and boarding a one-way flight to kansas city. i was alone, only having what i brought and a vague sense of community with the university i was attending. i ended up spending the first night with a friend i made through the university and then i hiked up a literal mountain to my dormitory.

the end of this chapter is december 7th, 2019.

this chapter spanned for five whole years. it was full of both literal and figurative births, deaths, reincarnations, sweat, and tears. it was full of lifelong friends, seasonal friends, and i created family from nothing.

i transformed my beliefs, then transformed them again.

i hid from my voice, then i let it go.

i was working under the assumption i was weak, then i was proven wrong as my world ended many times, then began again in the morning.

there are so many people earthside and in heaven who showed up, helped, and molded me into who i am today.

the ending of this chapter is the present me, with two very full suitcases and an angry but beloved cat, with a ticket destined for orlando, florida.

i was met at the airport by someone who loves and cherishes me. sees my essence. we drove to my new home and assembled my bed.

i appreciated the lack of a literal mountain.

i am sitting here and i am struggling with the words to describe this current feeling, as our shared demons have us convinced we will never experience true joy, love, and contentment. they have us hopeless. they have us desperate to escape.

shedding our shared demons was not easy. it is also something i will have to make a conscious effort to do for the rest of this life.

however, with the help of the tools i accumulated through this entire chapter, it has led us to this current feeling.

the current feeling is contentment with my life worth living.

the remarkable, soul fulfilling armenian and i are off to the island paradise of saint lucia for five whole days of self-reflection and grounding ourselves in our blossoming relationship.

what a life.

it has been seven months and there is not a day that goes by that i wish you and papa could meet him. uncle approves. quite enjoys him. if that helps. 🙂

there is a bang. the new chapter begins.

what is in store in the anew?

i think it is time to tackle the inner child who is still scared.

it is time to find my niche.

it is time to create and provide content to the world.

it is time to nourish life.

i love you dad.

xoxo,

your daughter